What are Happy Relationships ? How can you get one..or make yours Happier ? happy relationships are built on common goals. In my mind, a Happy Relationship is a Healthy one, and vice versa. One kind of feeds the other. If you want to be happy for the long term, then you have to have common goals and visions together.
We have this notion that the other person will make us happy, or things will work out on their own. A happy relationship is an entity that both partners create together with Vision, Goals and Planning.Very early on during the “getting to know you period”, you both should sit down and have a series of conversations to see if you have general life goals that are similar. As things get more serious and you find yourself in a relationship, the next set of talks should occur:
1.Talk, discuss and write down your visions for how you see the relationship progressing. Comittment levels should be talked about.
What is the 5 year and 10 year milestones? Talk about the children you wish to have (or not have). Talk about how you will raise these children, disciplinary ideas,etc.In writing and talking your visions, avoid focusing on what you don’t want, because this will only bring about more of that. For example, if you want to resolve issues without fighting: Avoid wording your statements like: “I don’t want to fight and argue in our relationships” Instead, saysomething like, “we will always find a way to resolve our differences so that is preserves the harmony in our relationship.
“We will learn how to disagree and still be sweet to each other”. Plus, the rewards are spectacular when you can do it together.
- Visualize.In the begining you may need to read your vision statement 2-3 times a day and imagine that aspect of your relatonships matches your vision perfectly.
3. Make adjustments as you see fit. If you feel really good about your vision, that’s great. If not, now is the time to make some alterations. Re-write each new version and you willbe closer to understanding how to be happy in your relationships.
You don’t always have to share this new refined version with your partner, butrather focus and desire it, and it will make its way into your life.Continue to write about things you would like to see and feel in yourrelationship. Focus on things and how they make you feel, and how you want to feel.At this point, you may be wondering when this process ever ends. Fortunately, it never ends. Your vision will forever be changing slightlythroughout your relationship, which is good, since your desires will also change over time.
4.Review your vision regularly and ensure that it continues to attract you. This will rapidly usher change into your relationship. It’s one thing to know how to be happy in life, it’s anotherthing to sustain that happiness. This regular review is important to going beyond knowing how to be happy in your relatinships. It’s important tostaying happy in life.
- Create Rewards for milestones you acheive in your life and in your relationships.If you know that you have a bad temper and it adversely affects your relationship; then reward yourself with your favorite treat (or a new something) if you cancontrol your temper for 2 straight weeks. These rewards will help you to instill new behaviors that are beneficial to your happy relationship. What do you two really enjoy doing together ? Plan to do these things on a regular basis.A large part of maintaing a happy relationship, is to keep doing the things together that you did when you were courting